"There was probably something wrong with the baby."

"There was probably something wrong with the baby."

I heard these words or something very similar following each of my five losses (even with very different circumstances surrounding each loss) and, if you've lost a baby, I'm guessing you have too. The intention is to pat us on the back and assure us that we dodged a bullet. It's as if those who utter these words are trying to encourage us by saying, "It's OK. You wouldn't have wanted that one anyway."

It's a knife to the heart because we *did* want that one. That one was our CHILD. Our flesh and blood. Our precious baby, created in the image of God.

Your baby's life has value. Your baby's life is worth grieving over. Death is not ever what is best. Death warrants our lament and our sorrow.

Your baby is an image bearer. Our desire for health reflects that we were created for wholeness pre-fall and rebellion of man. But this isn't our greatest hope, nor is it our worth. Human worth is in Christ, not on our health. We are created in His image, even with the various challenges our bodies may face. Our purpose is to glorify God and point others toward Him in whatever manner we are able. To let God use us, despite our flaws.

Christian brothers and sisters, I implore you to please stop saying this. May we uphold the value and the dignity of all lives from womb to tomb, regardless of health, status, or a culturally appropriate "contribution" to society. All lives are valuable and babies are no exception. 🤍