"You're so strong."

 "You're so strong."

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Loss mamas hear this phrase a lot. The intent is always to encourage her. Losing a child is devastating and something no one wants to imagine. People see the mother rise from her bed each day and see what courage it must take to keep moving through life after what they've been through, and they think, "She is so strong."
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Though the intent has always been to encourage, I have never felt encouraged by these words.
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"You're so strong" has made me feel unseen and dismissed. What would they say if they really knew what I was feeling? What would they say if they knew the thoughts that crossed my mind?
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"You're so strong" has made me feel like a phony. I’ve internally asked: Am I being fake? Am I a fraud for acting in a way that makes others view me as strong when I feel so weak? I feel like I’m drowning. What do I need to do so you can see that?
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"You're so strong" often leads us to wonder, "How? I don't feel strong."
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This statement, as difficult as it can feel, is a perfect opportunity to point others to Christ. My prayer is that any strength they see in us is because of Him. My prayer is that His strength shines through us. That we are used to encourage a hurting and broken world, as weary and broken vessels ourselves. My prayer is that we surrender the pressure to be "strong" and rest knowing that His strength alone will carry us through.
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"My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness." II Corinthians 12:9


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