Ethan's 6th Birthday

August 16 was Ethan's sixth birthday. 

It was a really good day and a really hard day all at once—it once seemed so strange that two opposing emotions could coexist like this, but I get it now. The both/and is a daily part of being a loss mama. Good and hard. Fun and draining. Joyful and grieving.

Spent a low key day running a few errands, picking up a cake, and resting at home. Ended the day with a visit to the cemetery, dinner at Del Taco, and cake. Our littlest guy had more questions this year than last. At this age his questions quickly bounce from “Where will Ethan be on his birthday?” to “OK, Can I have a snack?” I know this will only become more complex as time passes and I pray for wisdom. He’s so smart and resilient, and joyful despite it all. My hope is that he grows with a healthy view of death and grief, as well as a Hope that can’t be shaken.

I’m grateful for the hope we have that we will see Ethan again one day. I’m grateful for an even greater hope that we are saved because of Jesus. That all things will be made new and this world is not our home. Grateful for the promise of eternity. Thank you, Jesus.