"At least you know you can get pregnant."

 

"At least you know you can get pregnant."

I heard this a few times after each of our miscarriages and I'd imagine many of you have too. After walking through several years of infertility, this phrase often evokes such a complex mixture of emotions for me.

On one hand, yes. After years of struggling to get pregnant, it felt miraculous each time we conceived. Becoming pregnant was suddenly fairly easy for me, yet my body continued to fail me again and again. I was grateful to be able to become pregnant, but why was God opening my womb only to result in death?

Pregnancy is not the end goal and our baby's lives are precious and worth grieving over. Pregnancy was created to bring life into the world and when that life dies, parents are left feeling abandoned, broken, and confused. It is an incredibly sorrowful process that resulted from the fall of man and the brokenness in our world. A beautiful process that has been tainted by sin, brokenness, and death. It was never meant to be this way. And one day, Jesus will return again to restore all.

It can be so tempting to try to muster up a silver lining in a caring attempt to comfort a friend. Sometimes the most comforting thing we can say is, "I'm so sorry for your loss."