For the fathers

 When a woman loses a baby, we are often met with a tsunami of support.

"How are you feeling today?"
"How can I be praying for you?"
"Can I bring you Starbucks?"
"I bought you something..."
"Can I do anything for you?"

In our family's own personal experience and in talking to other families who have lost babies, it seems the most common question a father hears is, "How is your wife?"

It is a considerate question, though one that, when asked as a single question, often leaves grieving father's feeling overlooked and as if their grief is somehow smaller.

I am so grateful for my husband and the selfless fathers who have stood heartbroken beside their wives as they grieved. The men who felt the heartache just as deeply, yet continue to faithfully lead and love their families through sorrow.

We see you, dads. No matter how differently (or similarly) you may process your grief. We see you when the doctor's deliver unthinkable news. We see you beside your partner as she labors. We see you beside her as she bears physical and emotional pain, and the equal pain you feel inside your heart. We see you as you make arrangements. As you often return to work sooner than is ideal, with very little support other than questions about how your partner is holding up.

Happy Father's Day to you. You play such an important role in our lives and in the lives of our children.

(And to my husband--I love you. Thank you for who you are and all you do for our family. I can't imagine walking through life with anyone else.)