Walking through pregnancy after loss
Pregnancy after loss can feel incredibly challenging, even under the best circumstances. I feel pretty unqualified to give advice, as pregnancy after loss revealed many of my own fears, trauma, and doubt. But I believe that those fears drew me to a deeper dependence on Christ. Our fears are not necessary, but can be an anchor that keeps us tethered to Him to be our sufficiency and our comfort. If I had to share a few things I learned during our pregnancy with A, this is what I'd say:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Choose with who and how you want to announce. Share on social media if you want. Don't share on social media if you don't want to. You don't "owe it" to the world to announce. Giving thanks to God for this precious life can be done both in public or in private, and both decisions can be done for His glory.
2. Prepare as much or as little as you need. No matter how much time you have together, it will always be worth it to open your heart to love and bond with the precious life growing inside of you. You'll never wish you loved less. With this in mind, preparing a nursery and buying things is not a gage of how much you love your baby. Create a registry. Don't create a registry. Neither is a reflection on your love.
3. Communicate with your doctor and find a good fit. Let your doctor know about your history and any concerns you may have. Be honest about any PTSD triggers. Find someone who will advocate for you and be honest with you. Switch doctors or hospitals if you need to and are able.
4. Draw near to God. Pray. Immerse yourself in scripture. I carried around index cards with scriptures written on them. I'd sit in the parking lot and read the cards before appointments. I'd say the words out loud when the fear threatened to swallow me up.
5. Rest in daily dependence on God's sufficiency. You will likely battle fear. Draw near to Him with that. Allow Him to carry you through each day.