"You're so strong."

People say things like this a lot when you lose a child.

Perhaps it's because they can only imagine how badly it hurts. They cannot imagine ever having to walk that road. No one ever does.

Until it happens to you.

I am going to step out on a limb and be very real with you: We are not strong. In fact, it usually feels weird for us to hear this comment. We take a step back and wonder, "Are we living dishonestly? Do people not see that we just don't have it together?" It feels strange to accept that comment, when we know that it just is not true.

We are weak. So very weak.

We cry. (A lot.)
There are days when I yell at God.
There are nights when I have laid awake weeping.
There are mornings when I just don't have the strength to get out of bed.
I have felt hopeless. I have felt worthless.
We have gone to counseling.
I have called life a "cruel joke".
I have battled bitterness.
I have cried again. (A lot.)

We are not strong. But Jesus is.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Knowing Jesus does not mean that you will not experience heartache.
Knowing Jesus means that you will be held, even when your heart is broken.

Psalm 34: 18-19
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.